My fridge is so full I have to reach way back
And my sports car doesn’t even have an audio jack
My laptop’s battery is low but my charger is over there
I can never find the right lid for my Tupperware
I woke up at noon, do I eat breakfast or lunch?
I don’t like organic milk and I don’t have fruit punch
My neighbor put a password on their wi-fi
And the freezer makes the ice cream hard to scoop, why try?
My hot water ran out in the shower, which sucks cause I was only in there for half an hour
The other side of my pillow is not much cooler
There’s no measure for inches or feet on this ruler (what’ the heck’s a decimeter!)
Something just beeped and I don’t know what it was:
What is my Roomba, my Convection oven or just Google Buzz
There’s some cereal left but not enough to make a bowl
I hate replacing batteries on my Wi remote control
People keep texting me when I’m playing Tiny Wings
My cleaning lady is vacuuming I can’t hear a thing
I didn’t read ‘Shake Well’ now I feel like I missed out
When I opened my birthday card no money fell out
I meant to turn on the light but it was the disposal
My Vespa’s in the shop, now how can I be mobile
Net flicks is suggesting things I already seen
And my suit is too fancy for the washing machine
There’s a pebble in my shoe, I have to stop and shake it
I have to add water to this cup cake mix and then bake it?
My pillow is too soft and I have too many sheets
And what the heck do I do with all these Starbucks receipts
My walking closet door is kind of hard to close
And my private school teacher calls my rap songs prose
My fridge doesn’t have a touch screen its a first world issue
Killed a Spider with a dollar cause I didn’t have a tissue.